Faith

Faith. What does that word mean to you? To me, it means you have to believe in yourself. To me, it means that you have to believe that things will work out for the better. To me, it means you have to believe in the magic that this world has to offer. Those three aspects of faith have shaped me into the human that I am today. Faith is a big part of my life. I started believing in faith when I was little and my beliefs have only gotten stronger through the years. I used faith to get through some of the toughest situations life threw at me. Now, I am stronger than ever because I believed that everything would work out in the end and it eventually did. Faith is a hard concept to grasp because it is abstract and complex. Sometimes situations seem like they will never get better but faith always has a way to work its magic.

When I was three years old, I was diagnosed with Autism. The doctors told my parents that I would never be able to speak, go to a regular school system, or be an active member of society. It was a depressing prognosis but my parents and I worked hard to defeat it. At first it was a struggle but slowly but surely my parents and I worked hard to prove those doctors wrong. The thing that helped us accomplish this goal was faith. We had to have faith that things will work out at the end. We had to believe that despite the struggle we had to face, we would rise to the occasion. Faith was the reassurance that we needed when things were looking bad. Faith was the reason why I relearned to speak. Faith is the reason why we preserved through the regular public school systems despite the lack of faith in the Autistic community. Faith is the reason why I am graduating college with a Bachelor of the Arts degree in Communication Studies this coming May. I have learned that faith was my ally but that was not always the case.

When I was in elementary school, I would have patterns. If you do not know what those are, they were basically an exact schedule of how I was going to go about my day. I would create this schedule around the clock. I would have to abide by my schedule or else I would have a meltdown. These patterns caused a lot of stress on myself and my parents. My parents even bought black electrical tape to tape over all the electrical clocks in the house. Eventually, my parents had to wean me off my patterns by telling me that everything was going to be okay if I put on my pajamas at 8:30pm instead of 8pm or if I ate dinner at 7pm instead of 6pm. Autistic people like to have a set plan for everything that happens in their life in order to make sense of the world. Eventually it worked because I knew that my life could not be tied down to a clock. That faith would step in and life would be okay if I had my dinner at 7pm instead of 6pm. I had to learn how to trust the process which is not an easy thing to do espiecally for an Autistic person.

Faith is defined as the complete trust or confidence in someone or something. I need to have the confidence that my life will be fulfilling without relying on strict schedule or patterns to accomplish it. I need to trust the process in order to have a fulfilling life. If I do not trust the process, I will miss out on significant opportunities. Faith has taught me that things will be okay even if they do not work out the way I want them too. It has helped my family come to terms with my Autism. It has helped me prove everybody who doubted me wrong. It helped me become the women that I am today. Faith is the backbone to my being.

Love Poems-A Collection

#1- In the Air
Romance was in the air
Butterflies were in my stomach
The wind blowing in his hair
My feelings were atomic

Butterflies were in my stomach
As he took my hand
My feelings were atomic
Our toes in the sand

As he took my hand
My heart fluttered like a dove
Our toes in the sand
I was starting to fall in love

My heart fluttered like a dove
We started to kiss
I was starting to fall in love
It was a moment that I did not want to miss

We started to kiss
Romance was in the air
It was a moment that I did not want to miss
The wind blowing in his hair

#2-Forbidden
There was a boy
His name was Troy
I was awestruck
Then we started to fuck

He touch made me feel alive
A part of my mind was revived
He was electrifying
This thought was terrifying

This love had to be hidden
For it was forbidden
The family hatred was strong
So we had to play along

I thought this was true love
His presence made my heart flutter like a dove
I thought he was the one
Until he said we were done

My heart broke into two
I did not know what to do
He stood there silent
I was about to get violent

I punched him in the face
He put me in my place
I was shocked
My world was rocked

He pulled out a gun
It was pointed his head
Bang! Bang!
He was dead

#3-On this Starry Night
The warm, summer air blew on my skin
I took a swig from the bottle of gin
The sky was covered in lights
On this starry night

I danced with him on the grass
Then I fell on my ass
He lifted me up with all his might
On this starry night

He kissed me on the lips
That were covered in chips
He was twice my height
On this starry night

The music started to get too loud
So we ran off from the crowd
There was nobody in sight
On this starry night

He put himself inside me
I felt passion and glee
He said I was tight
On this starry night

Turns out everyone were stalkers
Majority were also gawkers
I ran and took flight
On this starry night

It was 3 a.m.
I did not want to fun to end
He had to say goodbye
Om this starry night

#4-Broken
My first love broke me
I need repair
From the damage everyone could see
From the despair

I need repair
His words cut into me like a knife
From the despair
And the strife

His words cut into my like a knife
There is nothing there
And the strife
Is too hard to bare

There is nothing there
I’m ripping at the seams
Is too hard to bare
So I look at memes

I’m ripping at the seams
My first love broke me
So I look at memes
From the damage everyone can see

Party On

“I’ll be ready it in bit” called Mary

She was talking to her best friend Kate as they were getting ready to go out tonight. Makeup was everywhere as the two scrambled to look sexy. They wanted to draw attention to themselves so the boys would stare at them. Mary took one last look at herself in the mirror as Kate motioned her towards the door. It was about to be a fun night!

Once they got to the party, they were greeted at the door by a muscular man. The muscular man stared at the girls for a minute. On the outside the girls were calm but on the inside the girls started freaking out. They had the biggest crush on him but they did not know who he was.

“What is your name?” asked Mary

“It’s Pauly! Want to see me flex my muscles?”

“Yes” the girls squealed

He proceeds to flex his muscles as the girls ogled at him. Then they felt somebody grab their shoulder. It was their friend Maya. From the look on her face, the girls were heading into a perilous situation.

“Don’t talk to him. He is known to sexually assault girls!” screamed Maya

Mary and Kate swiped a quick glance at each other and walked inside. The music was blaring, the alcohol was flowing, and the people were just as crazy as ever. They make their way to the basement when all of the sudden a bubble catches Mary’s eye. The bubble pops over her head. She turns to Kate and Maya.

“Let’s go blow bubbles in the corner.”

As they were going to the corner to blow bubbles, Kate steps in something gooey. At first she thought it was a drink, then a rancid smell consumed the air around her.

“Ewwww” she squealed

The girls rush over to see what was wrong. Turn out, she stepped in poop. It was weird since there were no dogs at this party. It was even weirder that the poop weighted at least a pound. Who could possibly produce this monstrosity?

“Look out” screamed Maya.

A big, tall guy was stumbling towards them. He had the look of the devil in his eyes as he came towards the girls. The smell in the air became more rancid as the guy got closer. Turns out, it was Pauly and he was the one who pooped on the ground. He was drunk as a skunk, high as a kite, and had no control of who he was. He went over to grab Maya when all of the sudden the door swung open.

“Everybody freeze!”

Two muscular guys with look-alike police uniforms busted open the basement door. Everyone was frozen patiently waiting for the instructions except Pauly. They walked over to him, grabbed him by each arm, and hauled him away. A collective sigh of relief blew over the crowd.

“Party On” screamed the crowd

So the party went on till four in the morning. Pauly ended up getting arrested for disorderly conduct. The girls ended up getting noticed by a ton of guys. Bubbles flew everywhere. The poop was cleaned up. It ended up being a great time.